Oistons Tennis Betting News

<< Ilgauskas joins new-look Heat
Miami, FL (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Center Zydrunas Ilgauskas has officially joined former Cavaliers teammate LeBron James in Miami. Terms of the deal were not disclosed, but the Plain Dealer of Cleveland reported earlier in the w

<< Kings sign Richardson for one year
Los Angeles, CA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Los Angeles Kings signed forward Brad Richardson to a one-year contract on Saturday. The Belleville, Ontario native is coming off a career-high 27-point season (11 goals, 16 assists) while playing

<< Polanco returns for Phils
Chicago, IL (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Philadelphia Phillies activated third baseman Placido Polanco off the 15-day disabled list on Saturday. Polanco has not played since June 25 due to inflammation in his left elbow. He had been playing

<< Serena to miss three events due to foot injury
St. Petersburg, FL (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Serena Williams is scheduled to undergo surgery in the near future after cutting her foot on broken glass in a restaurant. The injury will cause the No. 1 ranked player in the world to miss ev

Woods unable to get anything going >>
St. Andrews, Scotland (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Three-time Open champion Tiger Woods mixed four bogeys and three birdies in a round of one-over 73 Saturday at the British Open. Woods finished three rounds at three-under-par 213 and is currently

Martino to remain Paraguay's manager >>
Asuncion, Paraguay (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Gerardo Martino has agreed to a four- year contract extension to remain in charge of Paraguay's national team, although he could still leave following the Copa America tournament. Martino's new

Monfils, Montanes to battle for Stuttgart title >>
Stuttgart, Germany (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - France's Gael Monfils and Albert Montanes of Spain will square off in the final of the Mercedes Cup tennis event following their semifinal wins Saturday. The third-seeded Monfils was taken

Report: Brad Miller signs with Rockets >>
Houston, TX (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Houston Rockets have agreed to a three- year deal with veteran center Brad Miller. Miller's agent, Mark Bartelstein, confirmed the pact to the Houston Chronicle and indicated it to be worth just shy of

FOOTBALL TRASH TALK

Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).

Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.

Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).

Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.

Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.

The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.

What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.

Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.

But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.

In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.